or paranoia is a healthy thing to cultivate.
If Urban Fantasy as a genre has taught me anything, its to be more aware of my surroundings. Half the books deal with the paranormal world hiding itself in plain sight from the ordinary world and what happens when a hapless human falls into that world. As an avid reader of UF, and this being the month of the Spooky, I felt it important for me to warn you about how to spot if you are surrounded by the paranormal and don’t know it.
Hint 1: Your neighbor only comes out at night.
Paranormal Reason: He or she is a vampire. Obviously they avoid the sunlight so they don’t burst into flames. Night is when they stalk their prey. Avoid inviting them into your home–no I don’t care how attractive they are!
Logical Reason: They work overnight at a warehouse or club.
Hint 2: You often see smoke coming out of the cat lady’s house; especially from the basement or the attic.
Paranormal Reason: Double Double Toil and Trouble anyone? The lady obviously has a cauldron and is conducting magical spells. Likely against you since you’re snooping around her house. Do you feel kind of warm?
Logical Reason: Some sort of scientist who does experiments at home.
Hint 3: During the full moon you hear weird howl like noises from the woods nearby your house. The woods where a very suspicious fellow lives by himself.
Paranormal Reason: A werewolf obviously. Full moon, howling, suspicious man? He obviously keeps himself chained up during the Full Moon to avoid tracking snooping kids and making them into meals. You covered your scent really well when checking out his house right?
Logical Reason: You live by the woods, it could be wild dogs, or even wolves in certain parts of the US.
Hint 4: There’s a lot of activity in the graveyard.
Paranormal Reason: Zombies. Either of the scientifically created kind (any chemical plants nearby?) or the magical kind (see hint 2). Either way you’ll be labeled crazy without proof so either join up or move away real quick.
Logical Reason: How’s the healthcare in your town? Average lifespan? Average age of the residents?
Hint 5: The ratio of weapon carrying, leather wearing people to everyone else is absurdly high.
Paranormal Reason: Make friends with them, they are the ones who will save your butt. Whatever they call themselves, it doesn’t matter. Listen to them, do what they say and don’t question their sometimes insane notions.
Logical Reason: You somehow managed to move into town with Hell’s Angels. I suggest running away again, since they aren’t the nicest people to have around.
Does any of that sound familiar to you? Oh and lest anyone says you are crazy, just remember: they may be part of the cover up! Keep digging!
But please don’t mention my name, I’m dodging my own paranormal bullets!
When not hunting around for her very own adventure quest, Lexie is working diligently at her blog Poisoned Rationality, obsessing over her twitter @PRationality or watching an Asian drama. Don’t let her studious nature fool you, she never considers doing her homework on time.
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A few streets away from my house is a house that has NO windows on the front, not even on the 2-car garage or the front door. Two-stories tall, there is only ONE window on each of the other visible sides of the house. It’s painted black, gray, and white, even the brick. For the last 15 years we’ve always half-jokingly referred to it as “The Vampire House.” Prior to this school year there was NEVER any daylight activity there. Now I notice that there are preschoolers being picked up and dropped off every day for school – they must be demon spawn being raised by the vampires.
hmm Natalie I would start worrying about how to handle them if they do arise. have you noticed any animals that seem to avoid the property? or conversely, a lot of animals who are on the property but never seen again? unexplained missing pets? lack of stray cats? These are common demonseed fodder…
and I honestly tried to come up with a logical reason for this house to exist, but I really can’t. Can I coerce you into finding out what the deal is? XD
Oh my, I giggled quite a bit while reading this. Night shift workers? Vampires? Either or.
Well there is this weird correlation right? My friend is a night shift nurse (the 7pm to 7am shift) and she needs to take all sorts of weird juices to keep her ‘iron count’ up and is always very pale…XD
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